An everyday tale of delusion, defiance

and disaster that will teach you English.


By John James Carty

Zuzu, Lulu and You is dedicated to the memory of Olga Inés Sierra Valencia

(Tía Inés) 18 August 1952 – 4 June 2009






Hello, Zuzu here! I know that some of you earth people have been confused by my story so far. But it’s simple: I come from the planet Hamoco, which is very far away. It’s millions of miles from planet Earth.

I can’t say I was born there because my mother was in Spain at the time, but that’s where I come from. Many of my relatives still live on Hamoco.

For example, my grandma and grandad, some uncles, three aunts and several cousins.

My grandparents on my father’s side come from Bilbao. The city of Bilbao isn’t much like Hamoco, but it’s quite nice.

I liked my life on Hamoco but I had to come to Earth because it has oranges and Zucaritas; there are no oranges or Zucaritas on planet Hamoco.

The Earth has only one sun and a moon, but Hamoco has a sun and three moons. Our sun is called ‘the sun’. Our moons are called Estorno, Bostoso and Koff.

We have just one star in our sky. It is all alone. Its name is Klineks.I came to your world via – oops, sorry, I have to hide this, my big sister Lulu is coming. She’s twelve. I love my sister but she’s like an old woman and she talks like my grandma.

Bye for now, see you soon, ZUZU


HELLO, I’M LULU. I haven’t got much time so please sit up straight and read what I have to say.

I know Zuzu but you don’t know him yet. He has a dislocated sense of reality. We have spoken to doctors about him but they just shrug and say well, he’s only seven. I think doctors are quite frivolous.

Anyway, some things in Zulu’s first story weren’t exactly true. I must admit that he has a pet that eats carrots – that’s true – but it’s not a gorilla, it’s a rabbit.

It’s also true that Mom doesn’t like it but that’s because it stinks. It is a fact that he has a pet under his bed but this is not a snake, it’s a white mouse.

The biggest lie in his story is that this pet eats his socks; this is untrue. Any creature that ate Zuzu’s socks would DIE!

Anyway, I hope you like www.ingles-gratis123.com. It’s quite frivolous too, but at least it tries to teach you. We should all try to teach, in my opinion.

Now, isn’t it past your bed time?


'to' siempre tiene el sonido 'tu'



Fonetica (sonido)
to have tener/haber jav
to confuse confundir konfiuz
to be born ser nacido bi born
to have to tener que jav tu
to be called lamarse kold (o de olla)*
to hide esconder jaid
to love amar lav
to talk hablar tok (l muda)
to get
ver  verbo to get get (g dura)
to pass pasar pas
to sit up straight sentarse erecto sit ap streit ( i de ingles)
to read leer rid (i latina)
to shrug encoger hombros shrag
to admit admitir a de avena, i ingles
to stink apestar i de ingles
to keep (una mascota) tener kip (i latina)
here aqui jir (i latina)
some of you algunos de ustedes sam ov iu
so far hasta ahore so far (o de gloria)
far away muy lejos far auei
because porque bikos (i lat, o de olla)
at the time en eso momento taim
for example por ejemplo egzampel
grandma abuelita granma
grandpa abuelito granpa
uncle tio ankal (a de avena)
aunt tia ant ( " )
cousin primo kazen a de avena)
nephew sobrino nefiu
niece sobrina nis (i latina)
unlike a diferencia de anlaik
sun sol san
moon luna

u de único

Estorno Palabra Hamocosa  
Bostoso ( " )  
Koff ( " )  
Klineks ( " )  
sense sentido sens
reality realidad ri-al-ite
doctor medico doktor
frivolous frivolo frivalas

*[cold: frio, es kohld (oh de gloria]